10-minute session: wouldn’t it be cool if…

This is part of a series called: 10-minute thoughts because I wrote it in that amount of time.

The title was inspired by my friend and fellow remote, Caitlin’s RYx talk. Content by different survivors.

A: Teacher! Teacher! Billy hit me!
B: Are you sure?
A: Yes!
B: Did anybody see him hit you?
A: No…
B: Well, it must not have happened. After all, Billy is a nice boy.
A: Ok (maybe he didn’t…)

A: Mom, the nanny touched me
M: Why would you say something like that?
A: BECAUSE IT IS TRUE!
M: She’s such a nice young lady. The Henderson’s next door recommended her! They’ve never had problems
A: Well, she did…
M: Did anybody see it?
A: No! I was alone with her
M: What were you doing with her?
A: She’s my nanny! Wasn’t I supposed to be alone with her?

A: *sobbing* John tried to force himself on me
C: Aren’t you already sleeping with him?
A: Yea but that’s not the point! I said no
C: I mean, if you already have…what’s the big deal.
A: I didn’t want it!
C: Besides, he’s cute. I’d let him do whatever he wanted to me

Can anybody tell me when we decided that if you didn’t say no then you meant yes?
Is it too much to ask for Yes to be Yes rather than not no to mean yes?
Are you sure? Ever heard of gaslighting?
You’re questioning my sanity when I’ve already questioned myself a million times
You’re blaming me when I’ve already blamed myself more times than I can count
You’re asking me to prove the abuse when I’ve already wished that it didn’t happen
I have had to be re-traumatize because you’ve asked me to re-tell that story.
Again.

Wouldn’t it be cool if you believed me?
Wouldn’t it be cool…perhaps nice if the catholic church heeded the cries of survivors who were abused by the clergy?
Wouldn’t it be nice if your friend believed you when you said that some racist asshole wouldn’t let you in the club because of your color?
Yeah, wouldn’t it be nice?!

 

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